jav

`ITsme
i sucks.
omgg. today ve jav nat'l. and i seriously messed it up!! i got myself the 8th position, w a crap dist. lyk damn it lah! so disappointed in myself. i did an average of 26m for trng. and today, due to lack of slp, i got only 23m. 3m..u dun think its alot rite? but w 26-27m, i could easily secure myself the 6th, or 5th position. im so disappointed in myself.
afterall. its all over.
maybe i shud b glad? coz the rest of the throwers all had coaches w them, and me, was all on my own. w/o even a team mate w me. so, was initialy quite awkward, but manage to ignore my surrounding. however, i must nit deny that being alone, really affected my performance. coz im an extrovert. more ppl, adds my energy level.
wdv. now juz wait for my shot put tml lor. wad else more can i do? juz try my best lor.
lessons..lessons..lessons.
stress..stress..stress.
hmm...missing all those lessons may be sweet for now. but future, will be bitter.
stacks of homework. piles of papers. list of teachers who wan2 tok me.
wad crap ve i brought myself to?
i really dunno.
now. my sis wedding is round e corner, and alot of things is happening.
and i dun wan to face all this rubbish when it my turn. shud i even get married?
or shud i even get a spouse. perhaps, i shud juz remain single.
omggggg. i hate this world....
i hate broken family.
i hate family politics.
its worst than friends politics.
worst than class politics.
worst than team politics.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate this.













why do do i need to face this, on top of my studies and activities?
why do ppl always say family is ur support?
why am i juz in such 'unique' case?
i dun understand.













i ve make my way thru so many yrs.
ignoring this.
but, it out-burst.
and its so sudden.
i cant handle.
in the wrong yr.
at the wrong time.
im so damn stressed up.
and my family is all pouring nonsense at me.
i dun understnd.













i seriously, dun.