hehe

ITsme
hehe. today quite fun la. lessons were fine. but i wan2 complain why friday morning nid to report at 0725 for CLL?!?! its lyk earlier than usual time la!! gosh. wells. im quite fine w it la. coz it really makes me study..w a direction in mind. haha. hmm. dun ask me why i complained, ok?
den math..as usual, scared mr chua scold me...Phy lec, i was trying my best to understnd la. den Litong damn nice, sit w me, den can tok crap. haha. so was quite awake. but shunyu say today i slpt during lec. got meh?!?! ><. haha. GP was crappy, we do this environment test..lolx. lame, but i lyk!! hmm...break and CLL?? zhang lao the lesson lyk speed boat..w'o fuel. fast but yet can catch. muahaha!! den break AGIAN!! haiz. went to library to do phy homework..den abit LL make me abit angry...but hor..i noe oso coz i nt in the mood, she juz lyk suai, dio shoot! oops. dun scold me ah. yala..den everything was lyk ok only till jiaqi they all came to break e ice. but actually, i noe SK was asking why i sit so far. haiz. eh. den they all crazy lor..sk is 宝树，XL is another monk, den litong is 平阿四。den jiaqi jiayun is 双童。 den i am 田青文。。。eeek!! ehmmm..den phy lessons mr sim late...but he semms to b in really good mood. haha. oops ok la. den track events. i won jav, 26.75m. den discus, 18++m. den shot, 8.95m. muahaha!! i hope i can break sch record, one event is for 200pts lehx. haha. oh ya. den i did 4 by 400m. wells. we came in 2nd, but i din run my best. coz i cant do run under pressure. so, wells, its jess did well. guess she cover my mistake. ok la. i wan2 slp le. nites!! ><

ITsme
today was nice. though alot of work. but im really happy.

phy SPA skill A..wahseh. 难做dao!! den MJ paper is lyk crap la!!

math lec..gosh..peg and me lyk complaining to each other how slpy we r..but did we fall aslp??
nt really i guess. haha.

break, had curry noodles, cant finish all..juz nt in e rite mood to eat. but i manage to squeeze everything into my big big tummy. and tt stupid linglan ah!! insisted of sitting w her husband, LiTong. haha..之前still kip saying me and him!! omggg..u wan2 his attention, i help u la!! haha.

den we went for econs. omgg..my happiest lesson of the day!! although mr syn gave me a scare by throwing me a sudden question. but it went fine. coz i manage to giv him the ans tt he want, when the previous 2questions, e person he asked, din manage to giv the ans he wants. the happiest thing is tt, he gave me signs of 肯定！！ he is now my fav teacher. coz he is the first teacher who 肯定 my hard work in this period of time, as i am facing all the challenges in my life.

it break again, we went to lib and do work..though we really toked alot, afterall, its noon alr, so tired..we juz nod to slack. abit? haha. ps ps. wells. i ve to say tt kiong's songs are really nice. and his gf nt bad lor. certain angles really damn chio. haha. but, nt my type. hehe. his type of gal, st nicks last time ve alot, if i lyk, die la. be butch liao. haha. and hor. i reallu dunno why the bounce series shoes 涨价。。haha. nt my fault k!! hee. i help u chk again when i ve e time, k? i promise. coz i wan2 buy another pair for my brother oso. 顺便lor :))

den CLL lesson. mr zhang start gg grp work on 雪山飞狐。 he wan us to split our grp further, so tt we can do the questions faster. wells. i worked w wenhui. i think she's really a v good partner to work w in studies, coz she 毫不马虎。and is v detailed. wells. its good la. but 弊端 is tt cant go too detailed..coz will juz confuse ourselves w the overload information.

yea!! end of sch. den i rushed down to mit jess they all for house exco stuffs. well. i saw jeanelle and friend shootin netball. den 我手痒痒。。。oso went to shoot. omg. so diff frm bball....no board la!! ><><

ok la ok la. say until reach him liao. i bathed, and is now blogging. oh!! juz now i went to put my ear stuts back. oh my. the hole close le!! its only..since sat?! 4days?! i got amazing recovering rate la!! haha. wells. den i forced the stut to pierce thru e half way thru hole. it bled lyk xiao. ok liao la now. no more blood.

i go slp le.. yawns

ITsme

im really glad.

today is good. i noe i din over exert my muscles. coz im nt having muscles aches. and most imptly, i made my way thru 5 suicides. wells. im glad. perhaps, its due to last wk intensive. its good.

today isnt as tiring as last monday. last monday, by this time, im alr as good as dead. so damn freakin tired. as for now. im still motivated to do my work. to even ton thru my nite to study. wells. i have to, dont i? mr sim, mr syn, mr chua, mr heng, mr zhang...all my chers, have been so patient w me. and me. have been so patient towards my team mates. so do they, towards me.
but its juz unfair towards my chers. i wont deny.

im starting to feel 反感towards one gal. and i think partly, or mainly due to my commitments, and i ve to say, sumtimes, closeness is nt everything.

today. im glad.

im glad tt mr sim feels tt im still nt pushing myself for phy.
im glad tt phy is the subject im workin hardest for.
im glad tt im doing so, nt bcoz im scared of him.
im glad tt i respected him.

im gald tt i din throw 8m for shot, which i doubt w tt dist tt i ve, i can make it top8.
im gald tt i din get to throw jav, which i think i dun ve much time left b4 comp. to prac.

im glad tt i got scolding frm jiao lian, coz i ve been missing parts of bball trng for track.
im glad tt he din realise tt i dun ve bball trng on days tt i ve track trng.
im glad tt he din realise tt this is my commitment, tt he scolded me for, tt he took for granted.
im glad tt when jiao lian ask capt if im part of the family... ...
im glad tt she hesitated. and humblely denied.
im glad tt im nt part of this fam.
im glad tt i noe tt i dun ve to giv myself away anymore.
im glad tt my responsibility towords this ended. coz she said denied.
im gald tt i dun ve to stress myself to score, to perfrom, to assist.
im glad tt i dun ve to ve so much pressure on me.

im nt glad bcoz jiao lian scolded me.
im glad bcoz my hard work is nt being recognised.

nt only in bball. also in class.

im so damn, FREAKING glad.

IM SO DAMN FREAKING LOVE THIS WORLD MANNS.

BULL SHIT!!

i have a delusional life.

trust me.

missing sth in life

ITsme
i feel that my life is missing of something. something important, something that will make me someone else.
mummy had just unpacked the storeroom, flipping out all the photos that we took as a family, and throwing all the photos that have him in it. yes, he is missing.
in the years that i grew from the ignorant kid, to what i am now, my mum had made me feel that this family is going on well. but i know it very well that, my family is different. my family is unique.
perhaps everyone else will think that a family with dad, mum, sis, bro and me..is 理所当然thing.
but, i do feel sour when i see a happy family. something is missing, in my growth. just something.
my mum is strong. to think, he left her, afters years. but for me. less than 1 yr, i cannot take it. what's more her case. she is just strong. what am i to her. nothing. mother are always the greatest, and i agree totally.
this person i know, who went into my room, and exclaimed: “你小时候这样，为什么长大后变成这个样子？！”
ya, its him who said that. a little sad.. but i gave a good thought over this question.
my answer. i became so boy-ish, because, i am brought up single-handily by my mum. the greatest mum in this universe.
there is a lot of things in my life, i had to make my own decision, and take up full responsibility to these decisions. i would say, its good. freedom, to a lot of teenagers. to me, its a challenge, its a task. because things that are faced, aren't child's play, they are choice that are to make, that will change my life. and perhaps my mum's too.
growing up without a d*d, no one is protecting me, especially when my mum is busy at work.
i used to have my brother with me whenever i go out play, because the neighborhood that i live in doesn't play barbie, doesn't play computers.
they play skates, blades, bike, soccer, and even...fights.
wooden sticks, sand bags, fists...are some common weapons that i see.
thank goodness i studied in st nicks. otherwise, i would not know what could i have become.

my life, like a jigsaw puzzle. missing of this piece.

i have got to be strong.
i realized that studies is not everything. its just another piece which makes my puzzle.
but thinking of this. im puzzle can never be perfect, why should i bother.
my aim is to have a perfect life puzzle. but it could never be done.
should i throw this puzzle away, and start afresh?
start a new puzzle. start a new life.

end my old life.

i wonder...